Forgive me, Dear Readers. I always try to write positive, uplifting blogs of Magic & Music for you, but sometimes, a positive perspective is seated in depressing and dangerous subjects.
Such is this entry.
This last weekend, after a long day performing at the Oklahoma Renaissance Faire, I was surprised by a complete stranger.
She came running up to me, already in tears. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her head in my shoulder saying, "We're so happy you're here this year! We missed you and you are one of the only safe examples for us to hang onto."
After talking with her a bit I was able to discern what she meant by this.
Here in the heart of conservative American lifestyle, the ren faire is a haven of safety for the young LGBTQ in the area. The current youth of America's heartland has too many that are shown such little support of their personal identities, they question their own abilities to live in this current society. To see an elder of my 60 years able to go about with success as an openly transgendered performer and still be alive is apparently something they do not see as a potential reality for themselves.
This is horrific. We're supposed to have conquered the basic challenges of "fight or die" when we formed "civilized" societies. I guess there's too much selfishness, unawareness and fear in this society to pull that off.
There are those of us that are being driven to depression, insanity and possible suicide because we feel that we have no hope of being able to live our lives in genuine truth. We begin to believe that who we are is a mistake, an error of judgement, a weak excuse to avoid doing what others insist that we must do. This experience can force the mind to turn to dangerous coping mechanisms, like developing a co-dependency where we no longer validate ourselves but entirely depend on others to give us a reason to live.
If we do not find that outside validation, we are forced to look inside for some horrible fault that keeps us from being accepted. Unable to find it, (because it isn't actually there) we turn that frustration and resentment onto ourselves. We start to think we really ARE the ones that are wrong, damaged, and irreparable. Still, the will to live is hard to override and so we keep trying, until we cannot.
So, what are folk like myself to do? Give up? Hide? Make sure I never frighten or challenge any other person in their personal world perspective again?
No.
This world thrives on growth and evolution. It will not survive if it stops growing and connecting with itself to become stronger. We must not allow fear to trap us in a cave of ignorance, comfort, and unawareness. By Nature's law, the slow, resistant, and unaware get eaten.
I will not give in to the depression. I will not yield to hopelessness. Fate and society will not control my life. I will not allow Fear to dictate my thoughts and actions. I must fight.
I will use my music to battle against Fear and Obstinance. It will weave into the listener's mind and plant there the seeds of awareness. This awareness can dispel the fears that try to keep us from embracing the different, strange, or unknown. It can educate and open minds to the concept of accepting alternative life.
Music passes through mental filters, reaching deeper than fear to resonate with the harmonic vibrations that sing within us all. The Music of the Spheres is the Magic of Existence. We call it different names and give it different structures, but it is the Fire of Life, the Spark of Creation, running through all things.
When we injure that Fire in another, we injure the thing that we ourselves created: A civilized co-operation of humanity, surviving against the Natural Chaos of Reality. It is a concept built on the premise of "Truly, I say to you, as you did to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it unto me"- Matthew 25:40.
This injury now becomes a pattern for that same thing to be done unto us by another, positioned in better advantage beyond us.
Social manipulation is being used to maintain the power of the Few over the Many. This is not what any of us, as a union of people, wanted or agreed to. The rights of Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness for ALL was what was originally designed, and we have been too lazy or intimidated to protect it from predatorial pathology.
I endured almost 15 years of surviving with such a pathology. Truly, I have my music, my fan base, and a few strong, fierce friends to thank for it. When I sang my life's history of song, I could not completely forget my true self, despite the gaslighting that was presented to me. My fans were always there to remind me that Perfect Truth and Perfect Love connects us all and allows space for each of us to exist in the support of others. My friends were brave enough to force me to see the danger and oppressive condition that I was allowing because I had accepted a false concept that I was the sole reason for failure in co-existing with my surroundings and choice of company.
My success at surviving for 60 years against false concepts, mistaken ideas, and misplaced trust has been within my music and those that resonate with it. That co-operative magic has been a light for me to keep from falling off many deadly ledges.
I do not expect all of you to be musicians or even any kind of artist at all.
I do know that each of you has a unique, powerful magic that is your gift and contribution to the Balance of Nature. It is the thing that the rest of us value and love you for.
My wish today is for this little rant of mine to inspire you to honour that magic. Act on it and with it, and others of your perspective will be attracted and bond with you.
The more we seek to unify into larger forms for the good of many, the more apt we are to hold our own against those who unite briefly for the good of one. Seriously, do you expect them to stay friends with each other once their mutual opponent is defeated? By their own selfish design, they will turn on each other until they either start tolerating their differences like we have already done, or they kill each other off. One alone cannot procreate and therefore, all they were fighting for will die out like the dinosaurs.
I believe in Perfect Truth and Perfect Love. I believe you do, too. I know I would never have made it without the magic of Human Kindness and Compassion. Be brave and act from yours. We can make great magic together to protect one another.
United in our diversity, we are Stronger Than One.
For more information about Alexander James Adams, including his collected articles here on Pagan Song, his bio, and links to Alec's sites on the web, check out Alexander James Adams' page on Pagan Song.
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