Have you ever known someone who simply isn’t very skilled at thinking through what they say before they say it? They make an unnecessary comment, say something insensitive, or blurt out words that leave you thinking, Why would you say that? Sometimes they don’t even realize they’ve offended you. Other times, they realize it only after the damage is done. People like this can be difficult to love.
The temptation is to become irritated, pull away, or eventually give them a taste of their own medicine. But Jesus calls us to something higher. He teaches us that Christian love is most clearly demonstrated not when people are easy to love, but when loving them requires something from us. Jesus said, “If you love only those who love you, why should you get credit for that? Even sinners love those who love them!” Luke 6:32 (NLT). Think about that. Loving kind, thoughtful, considerate people isn’t particularly difficult. Almost anyone can do that. But what about the person who repeatedly says the wrong thing? What about the person whose personality rubs you the wrong way? What about someone who interrupts you, overlooks you, misunderstands you, or occasionally hurts your feelings?
That is where patience, humility, gentleness, and love become more than Bible words. They become choices. Paul wrote, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV). I love the phrase bearing with one another. God knew we would need that instruction! We all have weaknesses, personality quirks, blind spots, and areas where we need to grow. The person frustrating you has them—and so do you and I.
Sometimes love means recognizing that an offensive comment did not necessarily come from an offensive heart. Someone may simply lack wisdom, sensitivity, or self-awareness. That doesn’t make hurtful words right, nor does love require us to pretend they didn’t hurt. But it does help us resist assigning motives to someone that we cannot know. “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11 (NIV)
There are certainly times when something needs to be addressed. Jesus never taught us to become doormats or tolerate destructive behavior. But not every careless comment requires a confrontation. Some things can simply be covered by grace. And here is something else worth remembering: we have all been difficult to love at times. We have all said something poorly, misunderstood someone, been impatient, or failed to recognize how our words affected another person. Yet God has continually shown us mercy. That realization should soften our hearts toward others. “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)
The next time someone says something that gets under your skin, resist the impulse to immediately react. Ask yourself, Can I give this person some grace? Can I overlook this? Can I pray for them instead of rehearsing what they said? And perhaps most importantly, ask, Lord, how would You have me respond?
Jesus said, “But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” Luke 6:27 (NIV). If Jesus calls us to love even our enemies, surely by His grace we can learn to love the irritating, insensitive, socially awkward, and occasionally offensive people God allows to cross our path.
Prayer: Dear Lord, please help me love people with the patience and grace You continually show me. Help me overlook offenses when I should, speak the truth in love when I need to, and never allow someone else’s weakness to become an excuse for weakness in me. Help me represent Jesus well, especially when loving someone isn’t easy. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
