It's Okay Not To Look For The Meaning of Life — Lessons Learned From A Zen Monk's BookExcerpts and lessons from Jikisai Minami's book "It's Okay Not To Look For The Meaning of Life"
Zen Buddhist monks have it almost all figured out — or at least, I like to think they do because of the profound advice I’ve learnt & understood by watching talks by them & reading books by people who have spent time under their guidance. In particular, Joseph Nguyen’s book Don’t Believe Everything You Think had a huge impact on me. But I’d never really learnt straight from a Zen Monk’s book or straight from the knowledge of a Zen monk in text. So when I picked up Jikisai Minami’s book, It's Okay Not To Look For The Meaning of Life, after my sister gifted it to me on my birthday, I wasn’t sure what to expect. I’m halfway through the book, about 100+ pages in, but the first few chapters have made so much sense & have hit home for me on a very profound level. What is the “self” you value?Essentially, we are living this life just by chance. There’s no greater truth or higher meaning other than this life & timeframe of existence has happened just by chance. You’re born into a family, you're raised by them & then you find your way through life. But what truly is the “self” that we attach ourselves to? The argument of consciousness has puzzled scientists to this day, often called “the hard problem,” which we’re nowhere close to figuring out. But are we our minds or our bodies? The biological cells in our bodies regenerate every few months, so we’re almost brand new physically every time our body does this process. When we look at our problems, it’s always “I have this problem” or “They have this problem with me,” and so on. It’s always either you inflicting the problem on yourself or other people seemingly contributing to the issue which you internalise yourself. The basis of the “self” we attach ourselves to is twofold: It’s either I am “me” or the “me” recognised by others, suggests Minami. Minami further argues that the truth is that there is no “self” or “I”. He suggests, if either your perception of “you” or others’ perception of “you” is lost, there really is no “I”. In essence, your made up “I” is just your memories & experiences when in actuality, there is really no “I”. People find this hard to grasp, but when you do, it’s profoundly liberating. Nothing. There is no “self”. We’re all just bodies experiencing consciousness. So when you’re overcome by life or negative thoughts, it’s important to understand that these are becoming worse for you because of attaching a “self” to your thoughts. The moment you detach your idea of a “self” from your thoughts, the “I” or “me” collapses on the spot, suggests Minami. Buddhism underpins the dissolving of the ego-driven will, which is exactly what detaching from the perceived notion of the “self” is. In recognising that the “self” itself is just a construct we’ve created, and understanding that it is only the ego which creates this self out of experiences and memories, we can transcend negative thoughts & experiences & accept them as they are. Without attaching the “self” to thoughts & painful memories or experiences, they are just electric impulses in our brains. Nothing more. Thoughts come & go just like clouds in the sky. And eventually, as Joseph Nguyen suggests in his book, but with a different analogy, the sky becomes clear again if we just wait.
It’s Okay Not To Have Meaning Or Become Who You Want To BeAs I’ve explored in a chapter in my book Make Your Own Waves, in the chapter on Albert Camus & Absurdism. Life inherently has no meaning; it’s just us grappling with what Camus called the “absurd”. According to Camus,
Camus suggested that “It is absurd to continually seek meaning in life when there is none.” This reverberates with Buddhist teachings as well. Buddhism suggests the same thing: that life has no meaning. There is no solid basis for existence or a firm basis for life. Furthermore, life is simply us grappling with the human condition.
Minami suggests something rather liberating — “It’s alright if you can’t be who you want to be.” He suggests:
Minami argues that the the saying “Be the person you want to be,” or the notion of “being one’s true self” is deeply flawed. This is because we really don’t know who we are & what our “self” actually is. He suggests that wanting to “live a fulfilling life” or wanting to live more “meaningfully” causes people to live in a state of extreme strain. Furthermore, he says that people believe that they must live a better life and that they must do better than others, and this results in a state of anxiety. He argues that people exert themselves and work hard to improve thier work & leisure which causes a lot of pain. He writes: “I wish they (people) could relax and live their lives as if the self was no big deal”, furthermore writing that “people are born in a fundamentally passive state… if you remember this, you will understand how unnatural it is to live your life in a forceful way, believing that things have to be a certain way.” It’s Okay If You Don’t Acheive Your Goals, Ambitions and TargetsHe also suggests that it’s okay if we don’t achieve our goals, ambitions, targets and desires. He uses the example of athletes who win gold medals at the Olympics. He argues that yes, those athletes are admirable for their mental & physical toughness and achieving their feat of winning gold medals, but he writes, “But does that mean that athletes who poured their blood, sweat and tears into their training but still could not win a medal are inferior to those who did? Not at all. They worked hard to achieve their dream but it did not come true, ” He suggests that we can pursue our goals, desires & ambitions, but it’s okay if we don’t achieve them as well. He argues that “You might think what I’m saying is outrageous. But when your are just about to die, there is not much left.” Adding, “When we look back on our lifetimes at the end of our life, we will probably be left with some satisfaction and a few regrets. That is the norm.” “It is just fine to live your life with the feeling that you are throwing it away. If you do so, you can live much more easily. And, you can die in peace too.” He writes that “People can live without hopes & dreams” suggesting:
He writes that he has encountered several hundreds of people who have come to him for advice about the same wherein he writes: ““I want to fulfill my own desires.” “I want to get recognition from others” “I want to do what’s good for me”. Usually, people are motivated by these kinds of wishes to gain something… When things don’t go the way you want.. you will leave loss and gain behind, and look at what you truly value.” It might seem counterintuitive, but it’s far more imperative to live life in the present & in more peace & contentment. In essence, Minami urges a more reflective way of viewing and living life. He suggests core tenets to not view life as something to extract things from or that life is made for people to achieve goals & targets, but rather to be engaged wholly in the process of living, in the moment & in peace. TakeawaysThis book so far is eye opening for me, for various reasons. Yes, I do have my goals, desires, ambitions & targets. But after reading this book, and understanding it, and understanding just how fleeting the timeframe of life is, it’s a reminder that it’s ok whether I achieve my goals or I don’t. I may not have hit my targets & goals in music or writing or in my career and financially be where I want to be, but that’s okay. And it’s okay whether I achieve success (according to my definition of it) or not. I have all my basic necessities taken care of — a roof over my head, enough food and a bed to sleep on, I’m self sufficient & I get to work on things that have meaning to me. It’s something basic and might be taken for granted, but it’s essential to be grateful for. There’s this quote by Bob Dylan which I keep coming back to where he suggests: “A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.” Which is very true. The book offers a much more contemplative take on living life, according to Buddhist principles. It suggests living in contentment & peace from one day to the next without overcomplicating life. It’s liberating to live without the gauntlet of your goals & ambitions hanging down on you, creating lack of self-worth, inadequacy & the black hole of wanting more & ignoring how far you’ve come & what you have & what you’ve already achieved. It’s a reminder that this is life, it’s meant to be lived, without putting strain on ourselves to strive for being some larger-than-life figure or to fulfill desires, goals and ambitions which at the end of a lifetime, are truly fleeting in meaning. It’s a reminder that life isn’t as serious as we make it to be. And that living in peace & contentment in the present is of much more value than any kind of success or achievement of the future. So take a breath, relax and enjoy your present, do what you need to do but don’t overcomplicate things, especailly if it interferes with your peace and the joy of living wholly in the present. It’s okay not to have it all figured out & to not know the meaning of life & it’s also okay if you don’t achieve your goals & targets, so just relax & live life peacefully, being content and fully present in the ‘now’. (I’d highly recommend buying this book & reading it yourself) Thank you for being a valuable subscriber to my newsletter Light Years! If you liked this post & found it informative, feel free to share this publication with your network by clicking the button below… I hope you found this post informative & it helped you in some way. As always, feel free to subscribe to my publication Light Years & support it & also share it if you’d like. Get it in your inbox by filling up the space below! You can find me on Medium on my Medium profile covering a plethora of topics (there’s a bit of difference between the posts here & there): https://medium.com/@gaurav_krishnan If you’d like to thank me for this post, if you found value in it, you can buy me a coffee instead of, or alongside subscribing to my publications, by scanning the QR code below so that I can sip my next brew of coffee, all thanks to you! :)
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Friday, 25 July 2025
It's Okay Not To Look For The Meaning of Life — Lessons Learned From A Zen Monk's Book
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