My son Peter invited me to golf at a course I had avoided for 15 years. It had humiliated me when I was a poor golfer, and I wasn’t eager to relive that. But Peter was persuasive, so I agreed.
The first hole went badly, and as we drove to the second, I muttered, "Here we go again." Trying to lighten the mood, I said, "Petey, I want to pray over our golf game. Maybe you don’t need help, but I do!" We prayed together, but my game stayed rough.
After the third hole, frustration got the best of me. "I hate this course," I grumbled. Peter grinned. "Okay, Dad. What you say is important! Now, repeat after me: I love this course." I laughed but played along. "I love this course."
"Mean it!"
"I really love this course!"
I said with more enthusiasm. We both laughed.Then he got serious. "Dad, you've always taught me that our words shape our mindset. It’s only fair that I remind you. "He was right. Just the past weekend, I had shared with a group of men at a discipleship event: 'As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.' — Proverbs 27:17
We often focus on "iron sharpens iron" and miss the second half—"so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend." This isn’t just about accountability; it’s about lifting each other up, speaking life into one another. God calls us into Christian community not just for fellowship, but for growth, stability, and encouragement. For 38 years, I led small discipleship groups. I’ve seen firsthand A and know the power of godly friendship and encouragement. The world is getting darker, but when we sharpen each other, we stay strong and brighten the world!
Sharpening a friend’s countenance means bringing them truth, hope, and encouragement. It’s not just offering a generic, "Things will get better," when someone is struggling. That won’t change their countenance. But when you bring the promises of God into their situation—when you remind them of His faithfulness and pray over them—something shifts. That’s the power of God’s Word, working through us.
Not long ago I watch this truth in action. A woman approached me after church. I had known her for years. She had one of the most amazing gifts of encouragement of anyone I had ever met. If you had ever received a note from her, it brightened your day and your life. On this particular day, she was in despair and feeling suicidal. "Pastor, I can’t go life anymore. I just want to go home and be with Jesus."
For a moment, I didn’t know what to say. Then God gave me the words. "You have a gift," I told her. "You see the good in people and express it to them in such a beautiful and profound way, that it changes them. That’s a gift from God. The world desperately needs it. Imagine what would happen if you fully embraced this gift and made it your mission for the Lord in life?"
As I spoke, her entire demeanor changed. Her shoulders straightened, her face brightened, and she smiled—radiantly. God had touched her heart. She left with a renewed sense of purpose, ready to use her gift to encourage others.
Words aren’t trivial. They carry power. God created the world with words. Our words can either fan the flames of despair or extinguish them with hope.
Friends, this is part of your Christian calling. Are you sharpening the countenance of those around you? Are you speaking faith and life into your friends who need encouragement? This is what we are called to do.
Proverbs 15:4 (NIV) "The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life..."
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