Every day we practice consistency through routine.
For most of us, it all starts with the annoying alarm clock, then we rub our eyes and grab our phones to check for any overnight notifications. The next stop is the bathroom for a quick face wash and teeth brushing, followed by a trip to the kitchen for some much-needed coffee and breakfast. After that, it's time for a shower, getting dressed for work, and hitting the road to the same old job. We deal with the same clients and their same old problems, and have the same old chats with our colleagues for a solid 8 hours before finally calling it a day. Then it's off to the gym, the grocery store, and running errands, before heading home to fix dinner and spend time with the family, until it's finally time for bed. We kind of just cruise through this routine, day after day, sometimes for years. But hey, at least with all this predictability, we know what we're in for, right? It's like we've gotten comfy in our own little loop.
I found myself stuck in this very pattern. Even though I wanted to live a different life and to have new experiences, I consistently stayed in my comfort zone. I was having the same conversations with the same people day in and day out. I was planning the same trips and get-togethers over and over again, but I never took action to follow through on my plans. I was comfortable in my pattern of going to a job that didn't excite me, eating the same meals every week, watching the same TV shows, talking negatively about the same people, rehashing the same dreams and aspirations, writing my goals in my journal, and leaving them to collect dust.
At one point, I even bought a manifestation journal off Amazon, and I wrote in it consistently, expressing my desire to become a published author by the end of the year. I bought it in 2020, mind you. I was delusional in thinking that, by following the simple instructions of writing a sentence over and over again, I would magically be bestowed with the ability to write compelling prose, vivid characters, and a gripping story in my sleep. I expected time to simply open itself up in my schedule, allowing me the opportunity to write. Looking back on it today, I realize that I was using that journal as a way to avoid doing the actual work required for true manifestation to occur.
At no point during that time did I create a new routine in alignment with my desires. The times that I did sit down to write, I was not consistent. Lack, fear, and imposter syndrome took hold of me every time I started to gain traction, and I would stop for months and sometimes years. But let me tell you what I was consistently doing at the same time. You guessed it. All of the above.
As a reward for the consistency, I applied to live the same life I had been living, I kept getting more things to complain about, more things to be unhappy with, I had less and less time to focus on writing, I had more and more stress, anxiety, and discomfort because that's what I was sowing my energy into. Until one day I woke up and realized I was acting insane. I was stuck in a cycle that was taking me nowhere. I finally decided to get up off my ass and do something to bring my manifestations into reality. I got off the wheel.
The thing about manifesting is that you only create more of what you pour into.
Whatever you consistently apply your effort and attention to is what you can expect to see more of. If you are living a consistent life of pessimism, daydreaming, projecting, procrastinating, and inaction, you will continue to receive more of what you don't want, which includes negative experiences, unfulfilled dreams, other people's projections, lack of accomplishment, and feeling stuck in your circumstances. Manifestation is fueled by the belief that you can have what you want and by taking action in the direction you want to go. You have to be willing to apply consistent effort toward the life you want if you hope to have it.
So how do you shift from a consistent routine of getting what you don't want into getting what you do want?
By following the steps below:
- Decide to be consistent and make a plan.
Once you have figured out what you want to manifest, it's time to go into research mode. Watch videos, read books, and learn as much as you can about the process from people who have already achieved your goal, or a goal that is similar to yours. Use this information to make a plan that accounts for all the potential pitfalls you may encounter. The point of this step is to set yourself up for success by anticipating any areas where you may be prone to give up because of an unanticipated setback.
2. Review your current patterns and decide what is most important to you.
Our schedules are packed with necessary and unnecessary tasks. This is where I like to introduce the plan, do, delegate, and delete process. Make a list of all the obligations you have and categorize them in order of importance to you. Anything you add to the delete pile needs to be wiped from your list entirely. Things to go in the delete pile can be wasting time on the phone doom scrolling, taking on extra responsibilities at work that won't lead you to your desired outcome, social engagements that you committed to but don't really want to or need to go to, overextending yourself to help someone do something they can do for themselves, etc. Once you have your list sectioned off by task and priority, plan what needs to be planned, delegate what needs to be delegated immediately, and do what needs to be done. This step clears your plate of background noise that would otherwise distract you or give you an excuse to use instead of pursuing your goal.
3. Set smaller SMART goals.
"To complete the first chapter of my book, I will write 500 words for my WIP every day from 6 pm to 7 pm for ten days straight. I will have 5000 words written for the first chapter of my first book by September 5th."
Breaking down larger goals into smaller achievable tasks stops you from feeling overwhelmed by the idea of completing such a large task all at once, and it creates opportunities for you to celebrate your progress along the way.
4. Set reminders and enlist an accountability partner.
Whoever is the no-nonsense, call-you-on-your-bullshit person in your life, is the person you need to talk to about the SMART goals you have set for yourself. In addition to setting reminders in your phone or calendar, enlist this person to check in with you on the progress of your goal. This person needs to be someone who is known to celebrate your wins and be extra about you being serious about your dreams.
This process doesn't need to be extra. You can agree to text them a certain emoji every day at a certain time to signal that you've completed your task and ask them to call or text you if they haven't received it by a certain time. Trust me, after a few days of you sending your thumbs-up emoji to your friend and getting used to receiving a flood of congratulatory memes in response you'll want that praise to continue.
5. Decide what your reward will be and celebrate your wins.
We do stuff to get stuff, plain and simple. Determine what your reward will be for sticking to your schedule and doing what you said you would do. This doesn't need to break the bank or anything. Maybe after you finish writing your first chapter, you and your accountability partner will go out for drinks to celebrate your win. The point is to take breaks between achievements to show gratitude for what you have accomplished and to keep your self-esteem high.
6. Say no!
Once you start, you will notice things trying to creep up on the time you have set aside to work on your goal. Just say no. It doesn't matter what it is; it can wait the hour or the time you have allotted to the pursuit of your goal to be addressed. Seriously, say no to every request you receive during your window of consistency. Unless someone is bleeding, dead, or dying, it can wait. Trust me. And as a bonus, depending on the situation, it may resolve itself before you're done, and you won't have to deal with it at all. I am all for problems resolving themselves.
7. Accept that it won't be perfect.
It's just not. If this is a big dream or goal, chances are it's something you've never done before. When you sit down to focus on your goal, don't worry about making sure that it is perfect because the goal is just to get it done and to do it consistently. You will get better at it as you practice. This is the whole point. You are practicing consistency to get better at what it is you're doing.
8. Know when it's time to fine-tune and adjust.
Once you get rolling pretty deeply into your new routine, you will notice that you are getting stronger, faster, and more efficient at whatever it is you are doing. This is now your new comfort zone, and for the sake of making consistent progress in the direction of your goals, the comfort zone is the enemy. When you notice that you have mastered your small goals, it's time to kick them up a notch. For example, if you've gotten comfortable and efficient writing 500 words a day but it now only takes you 30 minutes, increase your word count by 100 or so to fill up that hour time slot and increase your productivity. Don't let being consistent get you stuck again.
Consistency is the easiest trap to fall into and also the hardest trap to get out of once you've found your comfort zone.
If you are looking for an accountability partner or someone who can help you figure out your counterproductive patterns and help you find ways to break the cycle, I am here for you! As a certified life coach, my goal is to help women improve the quality of their lives. I help women build their confidence, identify and pursue areas of growth and self-improvement, and work with them to create empowering strategies to overcome fear and limiting beliefs.
To schedule a free 15-minute consultation, message me through the contact page, and let's get started working on manifesting that goal, for real.
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