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Thursday, 2 May 2024

Chaos and Its Circumvention

Daily writing promptWhat gives you direction in life?View all responses Body Like a Mountain, Heart Like the Ocean, Mind Like the Sky-Dogen Horsehead Nebular, Stellar NurseryDo you see all the galaxies??? I was rambling on recently, when …
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Chaos and Its Circumvention

Stephanie

May 2

Daily writing prompt
What gives you direction in life?
View all responses

Body Like a Mountain, Heart Like the Ocean, Mind Like the Sky
-Dogen

Horsehead Nebular, Stellar Nursery
Do you see all the galaxies???

I was rambling on recently, when a friend stopped me to ask "What do you mean when you say alignment?" To me, it was such a benign sort of everyday term that at first, it was hard to articulate an answer. "What DO I mean?"

Being in alignment, to me, means that to the extent I am able, my life is matching the values I aspire toward. I'm living with integrity. But, as my therapist pointed out recently, I can even get integrity confused sometimes, taking on more than I'm responsible for. When that happens, things can get messy. 🙂

I got a little messy at work recently, not compartmentalizing well, which I would call being out of alignment. I thought I was unusually irritated by work-family dynamics, but upon reflection realized I'm preoccupied. I haven't signed the lease yet, so there's been a part of me imagining... What if I just, don't? What if I just, go?

Once I sign the lease, everything may settle for a while. I may stop looking for things that are wrong where I'm at. I probably should also stop the email notices about other apartments coming in. 🙂

"How you do one thing, is how you do everything."
(I stand by my choice of life quote answer yesterday, but this comes up a lot too.)

In a Zen sense, this is why it matters how you pour the tea.

Me at work 😉

Isn't this scene from Mulan so fun? I think it fits with what I'm trying to say above because in the story, she's going through the motions to become a proper traditional wife, out of alignment with her disposition and interests.

She may want to be what others want her to be, and even what she seems to be by virtue of the context in which she finds herself, but whenever she's inauthentic, everything goes to chaos.

Maybe I should have titled this Chaos Theory, Stephanie's Version.

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