I liked this alternate prompt suggested by Susan @clearingspace4joy, and since I came home early with some kind of flu on the same day as hearing my company is ending 401K matching, thus confirming its dim future, it might be therapeutic to attempt it. It's an interview question, really, so maybe I should practice up!
Anyway it's tl;dr unless you just happen to like mundanity, like me.
What are the strengths and weaknesses of my current job performance?
Strengths
In Role A [designing closets], I'd rate myself a solid 9 when feeling tip top (unlike today when I still did just fine with the two clients I worked with, but was more like a 7). On tip top days I'm energetic, attentive and sharp-minded, and feel confident in both the suggestions I offer and in explaining the reasons behind my suggestions. Generally, I give my full attention and make a real effort to grok their whole situations, so I think clients leave with something whether they buy a closet or not. š
I've come a long way from the woman who literally cried from overwhelm several times during the first weeks I stepped into this role. There was even one day a strong-personalitied senior designer was coaching me on something and I completely blanked, then calmly walked away. She was shocked, but recognized it hadn't been an angry reaction. I apologized, but wondered if I would be able to meet the challenge.
I'm grateful to this company for letting me experience the arc I have there.
The best days at the store are when there are a few designers present in our best energy, because we create a super fun atmosphere. The worst days are when we're micromanaged or have to deal with someone like a guy I call "doom room" who gets some kind of ego satisfaction from having us break rules and bend best practices. I refuse to do so, and let my managers know I will always refuse to do so--hill to die on, etc.
In Role B [Inventory Specialist], I'm far better when left alone. If I have a clear agenda ahead of time, I make use of every second and frankly I think, work miracles. They don't give the time that's necessary for this role, and therefore the accuracy of our inventory is abysmal. This job used to require 3 people, but with me there roughly 12 hours, and one other person just a few hours per week, AND both of us getting pulled into other tasks constantly, it is astounding how much we do accomplish.
That said, it's a depressing role sometimes, because the wastefulness when you run things like this, is off the charts. I've never been comfortable with the amount of plastic the store sells, much less the way much of it is packaged when it gets to the store, but what it is expected you will destroy and get rid of is disheartening.
I had to do similar as a teenager in a smaller similar kind of store, and wrote to the company making a case for them to donate instead. I remember it vividly because my mother suggested I use the word catalyst, which I'd never written into anything before. I suggested they might become a catalyst for change. Hm, it was probably 1990? So maybe not exactly a teenager.
As depressing as this role is, being in it does allow me to be less wasteful than they suggest. You can pay people to do many things, but not to care, and I do.
Weaknesses
For one thing, I catch quite a few colds. I seldom call in because of them, but I do catch them, and on those days I'm foggy-headed. That's not great, and affects both roles equally.
Then there's my back. I've hurt it a few times, so I don't lift very heavy items like file boxes. We all help each other with everything, but I'm not in the back putting away the heaviest objects. I keep up, but have limits in this regard, compared with some.
My memory is, well... let's say I doubt myself too often. The company is constantly moving everything around and changing the operating procedures for all kinds of things, and I think my impatience prevents me from keeping up with all of it. It's a kind of fatigue. Especially since I'm switching roles back and forth, sometimes I miss a beat and have to make sure of things. Today, probably because I'm foggy headed with this whateveritis, I couldn't remember how to make a long garage wall in the design tool so kept fidgeting, but finally had to ask. It felt like Wordle, because in the end it was obvious and right there. Ugh.
I get nervous and excited sometimes, and on top of that consume too much caffeine. If you're my customer on one of these days, it must be like working with a ping pong ball. I want to show you everything and will be back and forth from the displays and the computer dozens of time making sure you understand every little thing.
Probably the biggest weakness I have is that I'm really affected by the moods of those around me. When people rant or complain a lot, especially if they are people I really like and/or respect, it gets to me. I lose energy. Especially in Role B, where I am in the back corner of the backroom, people find it easy to saunter over and vent. I don't want them never to do that, but there are times that it's a bit much. Equally, if people are way over positive for the situation at hand, that's irritating too. haha
Ah, humans. I am one. My son and I were talking yesterday about how inconsistent we both are, but I don't think it's a him and me thing. I think people are just like this. We can be so irritated with someone, but then they're in front of us five minutes later and we think they're great. Both emotions are true and exist not exactly simultaneously, but if one is self-aware then they know that from the outside they appear duplicitous at times. Still, these tendencies can be draining.
I've had more than one person tell me that if I continue to care at the level I do, I'm just going to burn out, because it's not the way the company works anymore, to reward that effort. But it's muscle memory. I like to work when I'm working, and I like to have integrity about things. It feels silly sometimes though, or maybe a better word is antiquated.
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