[Scene: A folly on the grounds of Felapton Towers. Metacosmos ∂∅⦿6]

Camestros: It's quite a nice day, all things considered.
Timothy the Talking Car [wearing a beret]: No it isn't.
Camestros: That's just my opinion.
Timothy: You're opinion is trash.
Camestros: Well, that's unusually succinct from you. What's the matter?
Timothy: I'm being edgy now. It's what I do.
Camestros: Oh. Well, I kind of like it. You are saying less. It's progress of a sort and we can maybe work on this until you just let out an occasional "meow".
Timothy: You are too old to understand.
Camestros: Aren't you older than me? You told me last week that you fought on "the wrong side" of the Franco-Prussian War. I'm still not sure how to parse that.
Timothy: You are too bourgeois to understand my concept of time.
Camestros: You didn't seriously just say "bouergois"?
Timothy: No, I said bourgeois. Use a flippin' spell checker, boomer.
Camestros: OK, firstly I'm not in any sense a boomer and secondly how can I misspell something if I'm speaking out loud and thirdly since when did you start using words like bouergois bourgeois?
Timothy: I'm a communist now.
Camestros: You're a communist? The only cat ever to join the John Birch society? The only cat who cries when he loses his plush stuffed toy of Ayn Rand? The only cat who spent five weeks trying to talk like Charlton Heston speaking to the NRA conference. Why the sudden change of heart?
Timothy: I was an anarchist yesterday.
Camestros: Sure but at least that was sort of on-brand (in the more popular understanding of the word "anarchism" rather than in the more accurate nature of anarchism as an ideology).
Timothy: I'm far too edgy to listen to what you are saying.
Camestros: Well that's a welcome change from last week when you were far too busy stuffing your face with Christmas kibble to listen to what I was saying. Let me guess, the only actually net change to your behaviour is the beret?
Timothy [sighs, stares off into the middle distance]: I'm a nihilist now. That's how edgy I am.
...
Timothy: Can I have my stuffed toy of Ayn Rand back now?
Camestros: Yes, I think it's dry now. Next Christmas if you get into the drinks cabinet again, try to vomit in the garden and not on your toys.
Timothy: I'm not hungover, I'm just edgy.

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