Life is so fun because it is what you make of it. If you want to spend your life adhering to the norm and fashioning out your own routine within that framework, more power to you.
I like to shake things up from time to time, especially with my perfect foil, the Domestic Despot.
For example, we are watching a horror movie and I simply remark, "I am a very organized person. I bet I would make a very good serial killer."
Or another classic was, "I wonder if you can tell what a person liked to eat when you taste their flesh?"
The looks that woman can give.
Karen won't allow me to do comedy bits in my music act, although I think they are the most hilarious jokes known to man.
Of course, there were those mushrooms….
A friend of mine just adopted a puppy from a local animal shelter (hooray!) and I went with him as he picked him up.
He was a seven-week old furball that he named Clarence and I drove so that he could hold his new best friend on the way to his new home.
But first, we stop at a PetSmart to pick up a few things.
This is when I channel my inner grandmother and start filling up the cart with everything a puppy might need including toys of all shapes and sizes. Of course, I had to verbally justify every purchase. "Puppy foot cream for when he gets sore pads."
I am pretty sure Clarence is in for a good life…
I hope there are some MAJOR shakeups with my beloved Manchester United Red Devils before the start of next season. We just endured our worst-ever Premier League season and will not be participants in European football competitions next season.
Here's my plan for Sir Jim and the "new" Manchester United:
DUMP
Casemiro. Get what you can, but he just has never lived up to his international rep.
Maguire. Herman Munster in soccer boots.
Evans. Should have stayed retired.
Eriksen. His race is run.
Varane. Another who has underperformed.
Mason Mount. Thanks but no thanks.
Martinez. The hardest decision, because he can be brilliant in defense, but you can't count on him to be in the lineup.
Martial. Was surprised to hear he's still on roster.
Rashford. Farewell to Manchester's favourite son.
Antony. Waste of time and money.
KEEP
Garnacho. He is money.
Hojlund. I'm giving him another year.
Bruno. The heart of the team.
Mainoo. Shows flashes of greatness.
McTominay. Good energy and eye for goal.
Dalot-decent energy for a backup.
OFF SEASON MOVES
Replace the manager. I have as many Premier League titles as Erik Ten Hag.
Spend the money for a pair of top-flight strikers to lead the young front line.
Rebuild the fullback position with top-notch defenders.
Bring back Sancho from Dortmund to add to the attack force.
Now, time will tell so I will see if any of my imaginary moves come to fruition, but nevertheless, I'll be there backing my Reds when kickoff comes for next season.
Stay well.
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