As a teenage boy, you don't know a lot about female biology--other than the obvious things or what you learn from Skinemax, Hooters Be On, or what you learn from porno magazines classmates sneak to school (or their older brother snuck to school). This used to be a rite of passage through male adolescence. I don't think it works the same now in the age of the internet.
In any event--one of the things I didn't know about was menopause or being pre-menopausal. For guys out there who may not know now...women go through hormone/chemical changes that affect their mood, their eating, and their internal temperature regulation. This happens in their 40s and 50s usually but apparently it can start earlier if there've been -ectomy sort of surgeries.
You can guess this involved someone female and...temperature regulation. As a 16 yr old, that means this is really about my mom. It wasn't funny in the moment--but it was absolutely hilarious from that afternoon onwards...something that I brought up with her any number of times when the weather turned cold in fall or was above freezing in February or March.
I was in my last semester of high school which was, frankly, a total shit-show. That's a different story though. I'm not a morning person and on top of that, cold makes me want to hibernate...so there's no need to get to school early, no need to wake up early. I get dressed, come down stairs and immediately wonder what the crap is up. The main level of the house is freezing. Literally. I can see my breath once I'm off the stairs to the upstairs.
I come out to the kitchen and I'm blowing into my hands, rubbing my arms. My Mom and Pete are sitting at the kitchen table having their morning coffee and cigarettes and I notice something and say, "It's freezing. Why do you guys have the window open?"
I'm sure Pete was cold, too, but he never stood up to Mom, not that I remember anyways--not criticism, just observation. He looked at me, that sort of look that says "Boy, you're an idiot for opening your mouth."
My mom looks at me and says, "It's not cold. It's fine. You're exaggerating." She was honestly annoyed I'd said something.
"I am not." I paused and expelled air. We all watched the steam form and dissipate in front of my face. "It's not just cold, Mom, it's freezing! Where's my coat?"
She looked at Pete but I don't recall him having any sort of reaction--I'm not sure he was making eye contact with her though, either. Then she looked at me KNOWING Pete agreed with me but wasn't going to say anything. She got indignant, puffed up and said "It's not cold...it's brisk."
I was snarky then, too, so my response was "Great, it's brisk enough I can see my breath, so can we close the windows now."
She closed the windows. I grabbed a Poptart pack, went to the front room, and huddled up in blankets until it was time for me to start the car and head to school.
And from that point on, if it was -15 out...I'd make sure to comment, "Boy, it's brisk, isn't it?" Have it be 30-40 but with wind 20mph+...yup, that's brisk, too....because once I grew up (chronologically...as a guy, biology keeps my mental maturity at age 12), I understood what was going on...so that I could mention it in jest and have it be taken that way--as a good laugh.
I wish more families were like mine--have all these little situations or arguments and whatever--but they never last beyond that moment. When the moment of anger is gone, you go back to love and caring. I love writing these when memories come to me, but it also gives me a temporary sense of sadness--she's been gone now nearly 13 years and not a day goes by I don't miss her.
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