| Thinking Beyond the Box Oct 29 | My friend Stevie died recently (he is 'Stevie' because our floor had a number of people named Steve and Stevie looked like he was 12--hah!--and continued to look 20 years younger than he was for most of his life). After his death, his wife found things he kept over the years. One of them, I've stolen and adapted it for coaching. That's the basis for this blog entry. If we are confronted with poor attitudes from our staff or players OR we are accused of having one ourselves, what do we have available to improve the situation? - Be yourself. Make sure you are not trying to be someone else. If you are intense by nature, repressing that causes stress. If you are quiet, it is okay to be that way--people will know then that when you do speak or comment, it should be taken seriously.
- Help someone just to be helpful. Helping others will improve your view of yourself and model behavior you want others to follow. Sincere help ALWAYS leads to a better personal attitude.
- You are your friends. If you're hanging out with a dozen criminals, when the police show up, you're getting arrested with them because they'll assume you're a criminal, too. If you hang out with negative attitudes, you will soon have one as well. If you hang out with positive attitudes, it'll rub off on you as well.
- Self-Improve. You feel better about yourself and the world when you achieve something. It also shows others your commitment to improvement--this is a key basis in USMC leadership principles as well.
- Be or Do. I phrase this a la John Boyd. You have a choice in your actions--why are you doing what you are doing? You have a choice. Are you trying to impress others or are you seeking to become the best you possible--or help others become their best selves?
- GIGO. Garbage in, garbage out. If you watch crap on TV, your ideas become crap. You can only process what you take in--so be careful what you consume.
- Perfect is the enemy of good. You will have moments or days where you get angry or frustrated. These happen. When they do, work to return to a positive attitude ASAP. Don't get down on yourself for those moments.
- (actually 7b) It is ok to have 'one of those days'. It is not okay to have them five years in a row.
- Talk to yourself in positive fashion. It's easy to laugh at SNL's Stuart Smiley skits, but giving yourself positive comments IS good for you and can make a difference in how your day goes and how you treat others.
- Laugh, have fun. Everything is better when you are enjoying it. There are ways to bring enjoyment to almost everything that goes on in the world.
- (relates to #10) And if there's a challenge, relax. Take it step by step, break it into workable pieces that you KNOW you can accomplish. Then, with each step accomplished--you've got a positive to reinforce your progress!
- Celebrate your successes--this isn't ego, it's not grandstanding. You do good stuff, it SHOULD be celebrated. ...and then when others around you succeed, celebrate their accomplishments with them.
- Have a plan. What's the goal for today, this week, this season? Staying focused on the big picture makes it easier to get past drama/negativity.
- You control the environment of your gym. You can change it to what you want. And if you cannot for reasons beyond your control, you still have control--it is your choice to remain or move on.
- YOU should be your first priority. If you do not take care of yourself, who will?
#15 is difficult as a coach. Many times, we think things will fall apart without us, but ultimately--there will always be someone available to fill in or takeover, players will keep playing, games will get played. You cannot sacrifice your one go-around in life. | | | | You can also reply to this email to leave a comment. | | | | |
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