Sometimes as caregivers, we wish we had a few more degrees after our name. With MD after our name, we would feel more comfortable when a medical issue came up. I also wanted to be a psychologist because I thought it would help me understand how my husband felt while having Parkinson's Disease. If I could see how he was thinking, I could understand the motives behind his actions.
Since I have neither of those degrees, I have to use what I have already, and what I can find out through research. One of the hardest things to do is to talk a loved one into doing something they don't want to do or talk them into giving up something they have been doing for a long time.
Two cases in point - giving up driving and accepting help.
The first - giving up driving (or any other longtime habit). If this has been easy for your loved one, please be thankful, because this is not always the case. If this is difficult for your loved one, here are a few tactics. The first is fear. It is likely that you have tried this already, but it might help to show them the negative results that could happen should they continue. Another method is to ask their doctor to tell them to give up driving. You can call ahead before the next appointment to let the staff know that driving is becoming a problem. Being proactive will let the doctor know that this is an issue. A degree in psychology would help us know the best approach to take here, but if we don't have one, we have to try anything and everything we know!
Sadly, I have a friend with Parkinson's who did not give up driving until he had his 3rd accident. Thankfully, no one was hurt except his pride, but I pray that it won't take 3 accidents for your loved one to concede.
The second - accepting any type of help is difficult for some people. Yesterday I spoke with a young lady who helps to care for her grandparents. They really need help cleaning their house, but they refuse it. Their argument is that they don't want a stranger in the house. Here are some suggestions I gave her.
Any new person we meet is a stranger at first until we get to know them. So, if we are introducing someone new to our loved one, why not introduce them as a friend first, not an intruder or stranger. It may take meeting them 2 times before they are truly integrated into our home, but in the end, it is worth paying someone to just come for a visit.
After that, I suggested that this young lady stay at her grandparent's home while the cleaning lady worked. That would ensure that they felt more comfortable having this new friend working in their home. All of these fears are normal, but there are ways we can get around them with careful planning and preparation.
With our arm-chair psychology degree (smiling), with help from friends and neighbors, and with lots of prayer, we can make a difference, especially when lives and health and living well are on the line. Let's not just settle for the status quo in these situations. Let's use our resources to make a difference when and if we can.
What are you struggling with in your home? What fears does your loved one have that are holding you both back from living well? Now that you have identified the area that needs work, it's time to formulate an action plan to make some changes, even if they are only baby steps.
Please let me know how I can help, and until then I will be praying that God will give you wisdom to make the subtle changes in your home. Thanks for reading and commenting.
No comments:
Post a Comment