Baby Girl was not particularly feeling like having her picture taken, but we had our anatomy scan this week, and she's in there, growing and bouncing around.
I'm 21 weeks pregnant today, and we're officially over halfway there. I have a hunch she'll come early. We'll see. At least we already have a couple of names picked out, so we're a little more ready for her when she gets here. (Side note: I was born six weeks early. My parents did not have a name picked out. I was nameless for a few days. I have made it my goal to avoid that situation. So far, so good.)
At any rate, after a fall this weekend – scary, but all appears to be fine – and then the anatomy scan on Tuesday, I'm just feeling very, very…pregnant. I don't know how else to describe it. My belly has grown, my balance is off, I'm hungry all the time, I have to pee every half hour or so. I'm also happy, and hopeful, and anxious, and so ready to meet this little girl. For someone who didn't want children and couldn't fathom the idea of being somebody's mom until I was about 35, I sure am eager to get started. Although, I guess I already have, haven't I?
On my list for next week: Create a registry, start on a nursery, and plan (with the help of very dear friends) a baby shower/party/something. I don't really want a traditional baby shower. I want all of the people we love to get together and play music and eat food and laugh and help us to celebrate our soon-to-be (already-there?) daughter. Presents optional. Presence appreciated. Is that weird? I don't think that's weird. And we've bought both a smoker and a wood-fired pizza oven in the last few weeks, so we'll be able to make plenty of tasty treats for everyone. Fun, right?
The truth is, I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just trying to do it well, whatever it is. And I suspect, very much, that this is parenthood.
So, onward. I wish I could speed up time. I wish I could slow it down and savor these last days as just Graham and me. I wish I could sleep though the night without getting hot and having to run to the bathroom six times. But more than anything, I wish for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby. I know that even though it feels like a long way off, she'll be here before we know it.
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